Happy Anniversary Sister-Circle!

Four years of ministry is such an accomplishment. Not that I'm bragging because certainly I could not have done this in my own strength, I'm just so happy we have come this far.

I just want to thank everyone who has supported this group over the last four years as well as those ladies who have been so faithful whether in body or in spirit. Pray for us as we continue to grow and become all that God has created us to be.

Who am I? Really?

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I was thinking. Let me roll back to yesterday... Last night, I logged in to my myspace account and I went visiting my various "friends" pages. I posted messages to about about a dozen or so people, like the various happy birthday's, have a great week type things. Well I so happen to go a the page of a classmate from high school and I find out she had recently had a baby! Now I am usually up on classmate news (yes, I am a recovering gossip queen) but this one went totally under the radar. I didn't even know she was pregnant. A strange thing happened to me. I became envious. Then I became bitter. I stood in my bedroom, clutching my heart. There are no more "why not me" and "I wish it was me" and all of them. I just took in the pain. I was jealous. I never thought that was me. Lately, here's what I find myself to be: complacent, lazy, angry, unsupportive, unduly selfish, fearful, doubtful, not to mention covetousness. I used to think I was a nice person. Most people think I am a nice person.

So back to this morning, I discovered that my God wants to be a part of my life so much. I stood in my bathroom asking why did He love me so much. Why does He want to be bothered with me? And yet I fell so far from him. I have been so caught up in doing and having that I forgot to just be. Instead of being secure in God's love and desire, I have become insecure. Instead of trusting that He will supply all of my needs and protect me and support me I have become plagued with doubt and paralyzed with fear. I have no comfort and no real joy. My heart has been heavy for a long time, fill with more than I can even contain, and I just really need some lightness.

As you read this, please pray for me. Pray as I begin to give my heart, my fears and doubts, my strengths and weaknesses to the Lord.

With Love,
Keisha

What a weekend!

Wow, it has been an busy weekend! I went for a manicure/pedicure, shopping, birthday party, church, brunch and just hanging out. Yet, I feel the same. I still can't pray. Part of me is fearful, part of me is disappointed. I have a good life and I am really blessed. I'm a lot more insecure than I ever knew I could be and lately, I have allowed my judgment to be clouded by my emotions - leaving me incapacitated to live the kind of life that I really want. My supervisor is on vacation and I have spent the last month and a half dreading this time. This is a moment where I really need to rest on the Lord and I just don't know how. The more I need him , the more I push him away. Well, I need some rest now. I have work in the morning...

My official blog...

This is now my first official blog. I have started others in different place. I also though this would b e a good place for my ladies group Sister Circle. Enjoy and welcome!