Theme of the month: Unclutter...

Living on the East Coast, all of this snow this winter has left me with a little extra free time thanks to the wonderful miracle of snow days and such. As a result, my new favorite show is Hoarders on A&E. Now if you know anything about me, I am not the domestic diva I aspire to be and I have a bit of a pack rat streak. Frankly, like so many of us, I have been just plumb unmotivated to do much when I come home from work than to have dinner and go to bed. But after the fifth time of tripping over a box of only God knows what, you really decide that enough it enough.

A little history: In October of 1998 (yes, it's that deep) I separated from the US Air Force after 4 years of service. When I left back in 1994, I carried with me a suitcase or two and the clothes on my back. Upon TMO's delivery of my things were several large boxes of everything I owned, a number of boxes with my electronics and an entertainment center that I bought from a captain in San Antonio for 20 bucks. It was several months before my bedroom, a converted attic space, was in livable condition. In the meantime, I occupied myself with school and a social life. Looking back, I totally missed that crucial tome to really get settled into my new environment.

Fast forward 12 years, 3 colleges and 2 careers later and that once empty bedroom is now bursting at the seams. Not only is it a place for sleeping, eating, studying, exercise, entertaining, meetings, praying, etc. Enough already! As you can see I have too much going on in one space. Now wonder I am not sleeping. Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do about that until I move and get my own place but I can do something about the clutter. Here are 4 steps that will help me to achieve a beautiful clean space:

1. Remove/remodel - reconfigure furniture in a way that takes the best advantage of the space. My sister and I spent a day just moving the furniture. I also moved my book case out of my bedroom and into my hallway where it is now neat, organized and out of the living space. As I don't take books from there everyday,I don't need it in the space. I also move the dresser and chest right next to my closet to create a dressing area. This will make dressing so much quicker.
2. Get it off the floor - Everything, is placed in a box. I brought some discarded boxes from the office home as well as bought some letter boxes from the store. The cardboard boxes represent something terrible therefore I know the things can't stay in them. Hang it up, place it in a drawer, put it on a shelf, throw it int he hamper, place it in a box or throw it in the trash. Everything in its place, a place for everything. Once everything is off the floor you can see what you are working with.
3. Purge - This is perhaps the hardest part! Make sure you prepare for it and go one room, one box at a time. Also, make sure you have plenty of trash bags, markers and organizing containers/cabinets and a shredder. Start with the smallest spaces first. Clean out the medicine cabinets, closets, drawers. Keep a notepad to write down things that you will need to replace. Clothes are hard, I know. If its ripped, stained, won't fit, or not your tastes anymore - get rid of it! If clothing is in good condition consider giving it away to friends and family who may want it or to charity. Recycle where you can. If you have a hard time parting with an outfit then (space permitting) place it in a container for one year only. After that year, give it away. Shred old bills/receipts that you no longer need to keep. Recycle and shred junk mail. Recycle old magazines or give them away to offices. Do not go to the next item until every thing is put in it's appropriate place. If it a big project then commit to an hour a day or tackle one room at a time.
4. Maintain - this is perhaps the most important part. Life can sure get busy but to avoid all of our hard work being in vain we must be consistent. Place things back where you got them from. Schedule a couple days a way just for household chores. Like anything else, make it a habit.
   

I hope this helps and I will certainly let you all know how my project progress. Here's to a cleaner and clutter-free life.

P.S. So why is Hoarders my new favorite show? Because it reminds of the importance of learning to let go. Every episode I see teaches me about cleanliness, consistency, and the need to allow God to be what fulfills me rather than my things. Plus I praise God that my clutter problem is not that bad and I vow to do something about it.

Keisha

Tired but excited...

I have been up for hours but now is not the time for sleeping. In about an hour and a half, I will be heading out to meet the crew in Lyndhurst as we prepare to march on Washington. You guessed it, this is the anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision. I'm doing this for the babies I will never deliver, never rejoice at their births and never get to hold and rock to sleep. You are never forgotten. So for today, the lack of sleep is ok. I'll catch up on the bus!

Recap of 2009...

Looking over this past year, I am amazed at how much things change. About a year ago, I relaxed and cut my hair short only to just a few short weeks ago declare that I was pursuing going natural. I completed my master's program and as a result of those studies I've embarked on a new career. I've connected with more friends and acquaintances via Facebook than I know what to do with. I've seen lives begin and end. I got my insulin and hormone levels stable and managed to lose a little weight in the process. A lot of natural things have transpired. But I think 2010 will be the year of the supernatural. I am believing that some long awaited promises will begin to be manifested in the new year. But we have to be ready. Are you?

I am looking forward to what awaits us around the corner. But no matter what comes, we must always be mindful of what matters the most in this life - God & family. I thank you all for sharing this space with me. If you haven't already, check us out on Facebook and become a fan! Looking to launch Sister Circle Online in 2010. So many good things are in store.

Blessings,

-Lakeisha

New Journey

Now 20 days ago, I think I promised that I would sharing some good news. Well after some thinking and research I have decided to become a childbirth educator and doula. If you know me, you know I that love everything surrounding pregnancy. I do plan to be certified although I am trying to decide with what agency. I am so excited. Can't wait for my first client!

Welcome to November!

As we officially "fall back" I am amazed that we have two months left of the year. The weekend here in NJ has been quite beautiful and despite the rain we have had, the leaves, in their vibrant array of deep reds, yellows and oranges and browns, have remained on many of the trees. The 70 degree day made for a lovely Halloween afternoon. Well, soon it will be time for church. I sure am glad now to have that extra hour today. Welcome to November.

Back from a long hiatus...

I laugh as I realize the last post I made was the day before graduation. That was almost 5 months ago! Yes, after 3 years of commuting back and forth from Newark/South Orange to Madison, I finally did enough work and got grades good enough for someone to confer me with a masters. Now don't get me wrong, this was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done but ultimately worth it. I think the hardest part for me is that I am no longer a student and I miss the community I shared with my fellow Drewids. Let's face it - when you have shared some of the most intense emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually challenging moments of your life together - it's hard to walk away and not feel like a part of you is missing. I have also given myself a break from the academic life. I will not go visit until after the new year.

So much has been going on with me and I will have to wait till my next blog to report it. In the meanwhile, I will need to think of how to update my "About Me" section. I'm no longer a grad student :(...

Lesson of the Day...

As believers, we must be cautious not to make decisions or say things that kill the spirit of others. Our words and actions should not wound but heal.

Hiding From God

NOTE:This was written yesterday. By the time I got back from class and had dinner it was late. Here goes...

Hiding from God

I was reading the article on Facebook today called “One Single Day” from the Boundless Webzine (http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001983.cfm). It started off with words that I deeply feel but no longer utter. It also brought to mind or perhaps spirit some things about me that I refuse to face but must deal with.

Almost a week in to Lent and I have all but failed my attempt at fasting, prayer and meditation. My heart’s not in it. I mean certainly I could just abandon this exercise of faith for after all, I am not part a denomination that even observes Lent. I could just put my spiritual effort towards my Passover dinner and Good Friday meditation and fast and call it quits. I could even be a good girl and go to someone’s church for Easter Sunday service. But in truth whether I continue or not isn’t the main issue. My problem is this: I have been hiding from God. Now I know some of you will say how is that even possible? But if you are anything like me, you know how to hide and probably do it quite well. It’s in the hours of mindless TV, the devotion to anything other than God. And please don’t confuse moments of spiritual clarity with a relational experience with the one who is. Even this is a part of my hiding. I can write this and yet do nothing to change it.

So, let’s talk about hiding – I don’t pray, other that a quick prayer at meals and brief moments of half-hearted intercession for others. I don’t go to church. That’s also an authority and trust issue but we will save that for another time. I don’t read my Bible other than when I need to for class or to look something up. I don’t fellowship much with my Christian friends. We wouldn’t want them to have a moment of divine revelation to either rebuke me or speak into my spirit. The sad part is that I don’t even feel guilty anymore, just empty.

The reason why? Well put it this way, God and I are at an impasse. We are not exactly seeing eye-to-eye on some things. It’s too late to go back to who I used be yet, I don’t like this current path. It is not working for me. Or what God wants and what I want are happening at different intervals. The funny thing is that what I want was not my idea. I had little interest and in fact I wrestled with God for two years on one particular issue. Now, I want it and my patience is wearing thin. So I’m not talking to God, not really. I mean we can talk about certain things but my life is pretty much hands off.

I wish now that I had a funny quip, moral of the story or a great Bible verse to sum this up. Instead, I am quietly suppressing the tears and pain as I attend to my daily work. It’s just easier that way. And no, this is not a new dilemma. Just five years in the making of my daily struggle. I really hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I really need it.

Lent begins - Ash Wednesday 2009

So here we are in another season of Lent. Although my denomination doesn't observe it, to my knowledge, I love the season. I too shall be preparing for Easter. This year, I will be fasting for a portion of the day rather than for 12 hours, etc. because I am taking medication where I have to eat. This year, I am giving up meat and poultry and reducing my dairy intake, as well as setting aside time in my day for reading, meditation and prayer.

So of course, my day started with me unprepared for fasting. The food part isn't bad. Again, because of the medicine. I had a medium banana and some green tea with a little agave. I drank water to take my meds. Lunch was cool and it was nice because they served no meat so I didn't have to worry about being tempted to have some chicken fingers. I really spent a good part of the morning just reveling in the presence of God and breathing which really keeps me calm. I got my ashes at about 7 this evening and then did some grocery shopping. My sister cooked (sauteed spinach and shrimp) so all I did was clean up.

Now I need to get up at 6 am but I don't think that is going to happen. See, already off to a bad start, lol. On that note, I will get ready for bed cause I'm tired.

Peace and Blessings

Resolutions and Reflections

This coming Saturday we have our monthly Sister Circle meeting. I dubbed this meeting Resolutions and Reflections. Every January, we make goals for the year but last month I was thinking about those goals. I found my list last night and I was kind of disappointed because I did not make the mark on one goal. I think like most of us Christians, we resolve to develop a closer relationship with God. You know what I realized this morning in the shower (I'll tell you more about the shower later) that it has been five days into the new year and I have not prayed once! Hmm, that's a big one I have yet to deal with. Nevertheless, I will have accomplished somethings albeit half-hearted. So my goals for this year are to not make up new goals. The ones from 2008 were pretty good. Instead, I will reflect on why I didn't achieve what I set out to do and make it happen. So ladies, pull out those goals from 2008 and start working towards a better us!

Happy New Year!

Three days into the new year and I am quite excited. I am looking forward to graduation, maybe a promotion or something new... Losing more weight is always a plus and I think I am going through a new diet change. So to you and your, have a happy and blessed new year!

Kei

Interesting day

Today, I am all alone in the office. My boss out of the office, one colleague is on vacation and the other is out sick. With a lot less paperwork coming my way, I am left with a little down time. I decided to continue a search of my recent favorite writer and biblical scholar, Leonard Sweet. He also happens to be one of my professors at Drew. I often think back to the first time I met him. It was during the Theological School's Orientation in August of 2006. I was standing in line for some purpose or another and I saw this man in his jeans, gleaming white hair and sandals, kind of standing against the wall maybe waiting or observing, I really don't know which. But I noticed him right away and I asked him if he was a teacher here. He says yes. I thought pretty interesting teacher. Drew began to take on a very cool aura.

Since that time, I have had him for 3 courses each of which absolutely blew my mind. Now if you know anything about me, you will understand that I have been a Christian since I was 12, I have in church since I was nine months old and I spent the 7th through 12th grade in Catholic school. Add to that a BA in Religious Studies and a Masters in Theology in the process. So, as far as I am concerned, I know faith.

But the faith I knew was nothing like the faith he opened my mind and heart to. His faith is in your face, practical, bold, convicting, comforting, provoking... We had one class, where we split up into small groups and Len Sweet asked this question, "Imagine that Jesus came back and he was sitting in the back row of your church observing the service. You approach him and ask him to address the congregation. What would he say?" Now I tell you, this was our Social Gospel class so a lot of the answers were things like take care of the poor, admonishment for our sin, disbelief, etc. Each group gave their various answers and we waited to see who was right or remotely close. Dr. Sweet pulled out the most simple, un-thought-of answer -- I LOVE YOU. We all sat there stunned, ashamed, loved, impressed. The emotions (at least for me) ran the gamut. This was just one particular class session in my first semester. I have been in awe every since.

So he is my favorite professor. He makes us read (at least 7 books per course), he stirs our spirits and he truly challenges us to live a life (and faith) worthy of our callings. To date, he has 29 publications to his credit. Sadly, I have only read 2. Nonetheless, as I am honored to have been taught by such a man of God as Leonard Sweet. As my seminary days are winding down, I am looking forward to one last class with him, where I know I will grow beyond all that I have ever imagined to all that God has planned.

Aye Me...

As you can see from the date of the last post, I have an issue with consistency. I start things and I can't seem to keep it up. I love blogging and I have certainly had this blog for sometime, I just kinda forget it exist. Kinda like my website... Well, once I figure out how to work it, I will update it.

So what really prompted this blog? Man, I have been struggling... I have really been really emotional lately. I realized a few years ago that the person we think we are and the person we really are are not one in the same. Now the funny thing is that God only reveals that to you in small doses because I think the truth of who we are would just be too overwhelming.

First, I thought I was really nice, partly because people told me I was really nice. Keisha is so not a nice person. I have nice tendencies. My latest dilemma is dealing with the fact that I am insecure. I never thought I was one of those jealous, insecure types. Ha ha, I am so one of those jealous, insecure types. I realized (and am still realizing) that I hurt and feel wounded just like everyone else. I have spent so many years denying what I really feel, internalizing my pain that I forgot what it truly meant to live.

I have been feeling just really insignificant. I have been wondering lately just what my place is in this great big world. Where do I fit in in all of this. You are left with the longing to do more and be more but not quite sure how to get there. I don't have any answers today. I just know how I feel: small and unsure in a great big world.

Adieu, till 'morrow

Keisha

Happy Anniversary Sister-Circle!

Four years of ministry is such an accomplishment. Not that I'm bragging because certainly I could not have done this in my own strength, I'm just so happy we have come this far.

I just want to thank everyone who has supported this group over the last four years as well as those ladies who have been so faithful whether in body or in spirit. Pray for us as we continue to grow and become all that God has created us to be.

Who am I? Really?

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I was thinking. Let me roll back to yesterday... Last night, I logged in to my myspace account and I went visiting my various "friends" pages. I posted messages to about about a dozen or so people, like the various happy birthday's, have a great week type things. Well I so happen to go a the page of a classmate from high school and I find out she had recently had a baby! Now I am usually up on classmate news (yes, I am a recovering gossip queen) but this one went totally under the radar. I didn't even know she was pregnant. A strange thing happened to me. I became envious. Then I became bitter. I stood in my bedroom, clutching my heart. There are no more "why not me" and "I wish it was me" and all of them. I just took in the pain. I was jealous. I never thought that was me. Lately, here's what I find myself to be: complacent, lazy, angry, unsupportive, unduly selfish, fearful, doubtful, not to mention covetousness. I used to think I was a nice person. Most people think I am a nice person.

So back to this morning, I discovered that my God wants to be a part of my life so much. I stood in my bathroom asking why did He love me so much. Why does He want to be bothered with me? And yet I fell so far from him. I have been so caught up in doing and having that I forgot to just be. Instead of being secure in God's love and desire, I have become insecure. Instead of trusting that He will supply all of my needs and protect me and support me I have become plagued with doubt and paralyzed with fear. I have no comfort and no real joy. My heart has been heavy for a long time, fill with more than I can even contain, and I just really need some lightness.

As you read this, please pray for me. Pray as I begin to give my heart, my fears and doubts, my strengths and weaknesses to the Lord.

With Love,
Keisha

What a weekend!

Wow, it has been an busy weekend! I went for a manicure/pedicure, shopping, birthday party, church, brunch and just hanging out. Yet, I feel the same. I still can't pray. Part of me is fearful, part of me is disappointed. I have a good life and I am really blessed. I'm a lot more insecure than I ever knew I could be and lately, I have allowed my judgment to be clouded by my emotions - leaving me incapacitated to live the kind of life that I really want. My supervisor is on vacation and I have spent the last month and a half dreading this time. This is a moment where I really need to rest on the Lord and I just don't know how. The more I need him , the more I push him away. Well, I need some rest now. I have work in the morning...

My official blog...

This is now my first official blog. I have started others in different place. I also though this would b e a good place for my ladies group Sister Circle. Enjoy and welcome!