Recap of 2009...

Looking over this past year, I am amazed at how much things change. About a year ago, I relaxed and cut my hair short only to just a few short weeks ago declare that I was pursuing going natural. I completed my master's program and as a result of those studies I've embarked on a new career. I've connected with more friends and acquaintances via Facebook than I know what to do with. I've seen lives begin and end. I got my insulin and hormone levels stable and managed to lose a little weight in the process. A lot of natural things have transpired. But I think 2010 will be the year of the supernatural. I am believing that some long awaited promises will begin to be manifested in the new year. But we have to be ready. Are you?

I am looking forward to what awaits us around the corner. But no matter what comes, we must always be mindful of what matters the most in this life - God & family. I thank you all for sharing this space with me. If you haven't already, check us out on Facebook and become a fan! Looking to launch Sister Circle Online in 2010. So many good things are in store.

Blessings,

-Lakeisha

New Journey

Now 20 days ago, I think I promised that I would sharing some good news. Well after some thinking and research I have decided to become a childbirth educator and doula. If you know me, you know I that love everything surrounding pregnancy. I do plan to be certified although I am trying to decide with what agency. I am so excited. Can't wait for my first client!

Welcome to November!

As we officially "fall back" I am amazed that we have two months left of the year. The weekend here in NJ has been quite beautiful and despite the rain we have had, the leaves, in their vibrant array of deep reds, yellows and oranges and browns, have remained on many of the trees. The 70 degree day made for a lovely Halloween afternoon. Well, soon it will be time for church. I sure am glad now to have that extra hour today. Welcome to November.

Back from a long hiatus...

I laugh as I realize the last post I made was the day before graduation. That was almost 5 months ago! Yes, after 3 years of commuting back and forth from Newark/South Orange to Madison, I finally did enough work and got grades good enough for someone to confer me with a masters. Now don't get me wrong, this was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done but ultimately worth it. I think the hardest part for me is that I am no longer a student and I miss the community I shared with my fellow Drewids. Let's face it - when you have shared some of the most intense emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually challenging moments of your life together - it's hard to walk away and not feel like a part of you is missing. I have also given myself a break from the academic life. I will not go visit until after the new year.

So much has been going on with me and I will have to wait till my next blog to report it. In the meanwhile, I will need to think of how to update my "About Me" section. I'm no longer a grad student :(...

Lesson of the Day...

As believers, we must be cautious not to make decisions or say things that kill the spirit of others. Our words and actions should not wound but heal.

Hiding From God

NOTE:This was written yesterday. By the time I got back from class and had dinner it was late. Here goes...

Hiding from God

I was reading the article on Facebook today called “One Single Day” from the Boundless Webzine (http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001983.cfm). It started off with words that I deeply feel but no longer utter. It also brought to mind or perhaps spirit some things about me that I refuse to face but must deal with.

Almost a week in to Lent and I have all but failed my attempt at fasting, prayer and meditation. My heart’s not in it. I mean certainly I could just abandon this exercise of faith for after all, I am not part a denomination that even observes Lent. I could just put my spiritual effort towards my Passover dinner and Good Friday meditation and fast and call it quits. I could even be a good girl and go to someone’s church for Easter Sunday service. But in truth whether I continue or not isn’t the main issue. My problem is this: I have been hiding from God. Now I know some of you will say how is that even possible? But if you are anything like me, you know how to hide and probably do it quite well. It’s in the hours of mindless TV, the devotion to anything other than God. And please don’t confuse moments of spiritual clarity with a relational experience with the one who is. Even this is a part of my hiding. I can write this and yet do nothing to change it.

So, let’s talk about hiding – I don’t pray, other that a quick prayer at meals and brief moments of half-hearted intercession for others. I don’t go to church. That’s also an authority and trust issue but we will save that for another time. I don’t read my Bible other than when I need to for class or to look something up. I don’t fellowship much with my Christian friends. We wouldn’t want them to have a moment of divine revelation to either rebuke me or speak into my spirit. The sad part is that I don’t even feel guilty anymore, just empty.

The reason why? Well put it this way, God and I are at an impasse. We are not exactly seeing eye-to-eye on some things. It’s too late to go back to who I used be yet, I don’t like this current path. It is not working for me. Or what God wants and what I want are happening at different intervals. The funny thing is that what I want was not my idea. I had little interest and in fact I wrestled with God for two years on one particular issue. Now, I want it and my patience is wearing thin. So I’m not talking to God, not really. I mean we can talk about certain things but my life is pretty much hands off.

I wish now that I had a funny quip, moral of the story or a great Bible verse to sum this up. Instead, I am quietly suppressing the tears and pain as I attend to my daily work. It’s just easier that way. And no, this is not a new dilemma. Just five years in the making of my daily struggle. I really hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I really need it.

Lent begins - Ash Wednesday 2009

So here we are in another season of Lent. Although my denomination doesn't observe it, to my knowledge, I love the season. I too shall be preparing for Easter. This year, I will be fasting for a portion of the day rather than for 12 hours, etc. because I am taking medication where I have to eat. This year, I am giving up meat and poultry and reducing my dairy intake, as well as setting aside time in my day for reading, meditation and prayer.

So of course, my day started with me unprepared for fasting. The food part isn't bad. Again, because of the medicine. I had a medium banana and some green tea with a little agave. I drank water to take my meds. Lunch was cool and it was nice because they served no meat so I didn't have to worry about being tempted to have some chicken fingers. I really spent a good part of the morning just reveling in the presence of God and breathing which really keeps me calm. I got my ashes at about 7 this evening and then did some grocery shopping. My sister cooked (sauteed spinach and shrimp) so all I did was clean up.

Now I need to get up at 6 am but I don't think that is going to happen. See, already off to a bad start, lol. On that note, I will get ready for bed cause I'm tired.

Peace and Blessings

Resolutions and Reflections

This coming Saturday we have our monthly Sister Circle meeting. I dubbed this meeting Resolutions and Reflections. Every January, we make goals for the year but last month I was thinking about those goals. I found my list last night and I was kind of disappointed because I did not make the mark on one goal. I think like most of us Christians, we resolve to develop a closer relationship with God. You know what I realized this morning in the shower (I'll tell you more about the shower later) that it has been five days into the new year and I have not prayed once! Hmm, that's a big one I have yet to deal with. Nevertheless, I will have accomplished somethings albeit half-hearted. So my goals for this year are to not make up new goals. The ones from 2008 were pretty good. Instead, I will reflect on why I didn't achieve what I set out to do and make it happen. So ladies, pull out those goals from 2008 and start working towards a better us!

Happy New Year!

Three days into the new year and I am quite excited. I am looking forward to graduation, maybe a promotion or something new... Losing more weight is always a plus and I think I am going through a new diet change. So to you and your, have a happy and blessed new year!

Kei